Before I start, I just want to shout out to that lone Ohio roadway crew that must handle the whole state. I know this because you haven’t had time to fill in the car-swallowing potholes that line your highways like the craters on the dark side of the moon. Here’s a haiku I made just for you:
Snapped axles, crushed dreams
Ohio, tragic state of
roads best not taken
So today I’m driving up to Michigan with a nearly full bilge tank sloshing around in the belly of my 5’er. The plan is to drop it along the way before I arrive at my friend’s house, because I don’t want the first words after “Hello” to be, “Where can I dump my crap in your yard?”
Once again I drive through a torrential flood to make the trip down the mountains from Boone more interesting (at least in the Chinese sense of the word). As an additional bonus, I also get to brave a narrow gauntlet of serpentine roads that feature rock outcroppings jutting out menacingly from the adjacent cliffs. At some points, I’m pretty sure it would be too dangerous to put an elbow on the sill of either window, so that by the time I reach what resembles a normal modern highway, I feel like I’ve gone through a real-world version of a “Road Warrior” video game in which players are expected to die ignominiously, and my hands are gripping the steering wheel as tightly as a Louisville Slugger (which is appropriate since that is very close to our final destination today). Continue reading
author
