Hurricane Irma

The sign in front of a closed bar in Cocoa Beach says it all: “Go Away Irma, You Bitch!” In the immortal words of George Patton, you’ve gotta love such eloquence, especially when it’s bolstered by reports that potential victims of Hurricane Irma are taking matters into their own hands by calling on residents to fire aimlessly into the storm in an effort to shoot her dead, which is much to the consternation of the state authorities, not to mention those unlucky enough to be in the path of the stray bullets, but what can you expect when Florida law explicitly states that you’re supposed to be able to “Stand your ground”? Well, stand we did against Irma, at least in my home, but I can’t say it was a smart choice. Continue reading

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RV Blues

I’m driving up to the Carolinas with my RV trailer in tow in order to “to get away from it all”. In the context of leaving my home at the beach that might sound a bit incongruous, kind of like escaping from paradise, and yes, somehow the idea of towing a small house up a mountain is of limited appeal to me, but my wife managed to convince me that it is possible to live, and even thrive, without air conditioning or cable TV, because we will be too busy enjoying nature up in the higher and cooler elevations. Ha, Ha! Yes, I actually believed that! Continue reading

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On Miracles

I have been dabbling in some pretty risky investment vehicles for the last couple of years, and when I say risky, I mean that a craps table is like an AAA bond in comparison. Anyway, in one of those accounts I had stashed a pretty large sum of money and just let it ride for a while, and when I recently went to check on it, it had simply vanished!   Continue reading

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President Trump- You’re Fired!

Mr. President:

Your employment with the United States of America is terminated effective immediately due to a lack of integrity, a flagrant disregard for international law, and your repeated failure to perform the duties of your position.

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Irreconcilable Differences-Is a National Divorce the Only Way Out?

Liberals, I have some difficult news to share with you. We conservatives have decided that this marriage cannot continue and that we must seek a divorce. This is something we’ve been struggling with for a long time and I suspect that you are at least aware that we have been having a hard time together, which you made pretty obvious when you threw a tantrum over the last election. But I believe that we can do this with decency and reasonableness and hope you will come to believe that as well.

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At the Trump Rally-A Populist Speaks

Melbourne, FL-February 18, 2017

Donald Trump is working the crowd. I don’t know how many of us are here, but we have filled a huge aircraft hangar and spilled out onto the tarmac beyond Air Force One.

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The Train from Hell…to Belgrade

There is a lunatic running down the train platform in a Serbian border town chasing after a moving train. The reason he is distraught is that the departing train is carrying all of his luggage and most of his money. As you might have guessed, that lunatic is me.

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