Roads Less Traveled

I am seated on a sun-warmed boulder at the edge of the sea in Cape Canaveral, and I’m helping an immigrant with her exam questions.

“I learn…American-Mexican War, America-Spanish War, and Purchase of Louisiana now” my student tells me. “I learn…by reading…Russian-in Russian.” Her words come slowly, painfully even, but with a remorseless determination that I have to admire. There is a long pause between almost every word as she searches for the right one.

“Great, Lubov! Let’s practice your questions, OK?”

“Da…I mean, yes.”

I start with the easy ones. “Who is the President of the USA now?”

“Barack Obama” she says without hesitation.
“Unfortunately true” says I.

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I am directing this conversation-let’s call it “the talk”, shall we?-toward childless women. Through “the talk”, I hope to save you from the embarrassment of referring to your pets as “your children”, and I hope to keep you from insulting those of us who actually DO have kids by equating them with a lower life form that you found in a kennel, or, perhaps, purchased through the Internet.

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So you just finished up the Orlando theme parks, and you have one or two nights to kill before you embark on a Caribbean cruise. Or you just came back from a cruise and have a couple of days to enjoy the beach before you fly home. Either way, you’re probably wondering two things: how are you going to pay for all this when the credit card bills arrive, but also, what is there to do in Cape Canaveral? Continue reading →