Roads Less Traveled

Liberals, I have some difficult news to share with you. We conservatives have decided that this marriage cannot continue and that we must seek a divorce. This is something we’ve been struggling with for a long time and I suspect that you are at least aware that we have been having a hard time together, which you made pretty obvious when you threw a tantrum over the last election. But I believe that we can do this with decency and reasonableness and hope you will come to believe that as well.

Melbourne, FL-February 18, 2017

Donald Trump is working the crowd. I don’t know how many of us are here, but we have filled a huge aircraft hangar and spilled out onto the tarmac beyond Air Force One.

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There is a lunatic running down the train platform in a Serbian border town chasing after a moving train. The reason he is distraught is that the departing train is carrying all of his luggage and most of his money. As you might have guessed, that lunatic is me.

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