I’m hanging in the air about 30 feet off the ground, suspended by a wire, and I’m gyrating like a drunken monkey, trying to get enough momentum to wallow over to a net, where I can restore what little is left of my dignity, which I lost when I leaped from a treetop platform hanging from a rope, yelling like Tarzan, only to find out that I had to actually grab the webbing on the other side. I didn’t.


Holy Land Experience